BACHELOR BRAD – EPISODE 3

Couple things haven’t changed since last week.

 1)       The décor still angers me.  It is honestly disgusting.

 2)      I think I can officially say (without my own personal knowledge of course!) that Brad is a good kisser.  He’s actually a great kisser.  Even though my husband asked me to ‘punch him in the face with my knee’ every time there was kissing on TV, I still stand firm on this statement.

 3)      Overall, the cocktail/evening attire this season is the least offensive collectively so far.  This excludes that fifties stewardess mini tablecloth frock with the black bow on it worn by what’s-her-name with the dimples and teeth

 4)      I don’t understand why these girls don’t wear waterproof mascara.  Between the swimming pools and getting booted at the rose ceremonies, how can you not???

 5)      Michelle is one hot mess

 6)      I love the phrase ‘hot mess’

 This week’s episode started out on a more natural level…most of the girls weren’t wearing pounds of makeup when the date box fairy (Chris Harrison) came to deliver the news.  It made me feel slightly better about myself.  

 Couldn’t have been happier that Ashley was chosen for a one on one date.  She is quite adorable.  As if their singing wasn’t bad enough (the looks of the sound guys as they were trapped in the control room hating their lives were classic), they had to overdub the music on top of them singing just slightly ahead of the vocals to make it sound the worst it possibly could.  Oh wait, it could have sounded worse if Jewish Jackie had been selected for the date instead.

 So here’s a poll for you guys.  Which came first, the chicken or the egg?  Or in this case, which came first:  Did the producers somehow know that ‘Kiss from a Rose’ was Ashley’s favourite song and therefore plan the date around it in order to get maximum emotional value out of her or was it really just a coincidence that that particular song just happened to be the glue that held Ashley and her dead father’s relationship together?  And did anyone else feel like at any point Ashley’s dad was somehow going to walk into the room while Seal was singing playing the Sax or something?  AND, is it just me, or was it a requirement when these girls signed up for this show to have some sort of a Dead-beat and/or deceased Dad?  Regardless…I still obviously cried at the whole emotion of the moment for Ashley and her Dad and I’m sure I’m not the only one.

 Ok what is up with these group dates and the whole filming PSAs and fake movies?  I mean we already know that most people that sign up for reality shows are doing so to hopefully kick-start their TV careers (ahem ahem Melissa Rycroft, Travis from The Doctors, and the list goes on and on…) but do we really have to help them?  Here is another poll:  Are these fake movies, PSAs, soap operas etc. better or worse than the brutal Ford ads that the American Idol contestants always have to shoot? 

 Brad did offer a disclaimer at the beginning of this group date that he wants a girl to get down and dirty with him…not to worry Brad, there are definitely some dirty girls here.  Regardless, I gotta say I was kind of impressed with the ass-kicking some of these girls did, no?  Not so impressed with some of their workout attire though.

 Did anyone else think that Michelle staring at Shawntel kissing Brad (or Chantal, who can keep track?) while eating her own hair was hilarious?  She should go on that show ‘My Secret Addiction’.  And speaking of awkward Michelle moments, the award for best/worst of the night (depending on how you look at it) had to be when she was playing drums on the counter (with the randomly left coffee cup?) while Brad and Chantal had their heart to heart under the hand job blanket (a nice new addition this season to every chair, bench, couch, etc., don’t ya think?)  So nice of her to let them finish their conversation as she hovered nearby ‘when you’re done…’ 

 And speaking of so nice, so nice of Brad to say that these ladies have earned a night on the town after all the hard work they put into the movie shoot…and then take them to yet another swimming pool.  Nice ‘wrap party’, buddy.  Am I the only one who doesn’t keep a bikini with me at all times???

 I also thought it was funny when Shawntal (let’s call her Morticia so we don’t get the two mixed up)…when Morticia says to Brad ‘I don’t just do this kind of thing’ and he said ‘I don’t either.’  Uh…yeah you do.  This is your second time as the Bachelor…so you actually do ‘just do this’, no?  And speaking of Morticia, gotta love the fakeout where he goes to give the rose to her…I totally thought he was giving it to Michelle.  Woohoo!

 Onto Emily’s date.  I think it’s pretty much a guarantee that she was a Disney princess in her past life.  I mean, nothing says excitement after a passionate kiss like the phrase ‘Oh me, oh my’.

 Once again, Brad looked like a deer caught in headlights after he kissed Emily – marks my words, by the end of this season his shrink is gonna get more screen-time than Chris Harrison. 

 The cocktail party and rose ceremony were just plain awkward last night.  For starters, why do all these girls have to sit together on these two tiny couches?  Can’t they stand and mingle a bit?  There were too many awkward encounters to count last night.  From Michelle’s dead eyes and full-blown stalking while Brad and Chantal almost kiss (Michelle to Brad:  I heard you kissed another girl.  Explain yourself.  Sheri’s recommendation for Brad’s answer:  Um…I’m the bachelor?  I’m supposed to kiss other girls you psycho?), to Ashley H’s attempt at threatening to leave, completely put to rest by an awkward kiss, to Madison getting serious and literally putting it all on the table…

 I’m a bit confused by why some of these girls are so shocked at how hard this whole situation is.  Have you not watched the show before?  I’m also equally confused by what the red head is still doing there.  And I’m pretty sure they added some new cast-mates last night because two of the girls he gave roses to, I swear I have never seen.

Looking forward to watching Michelle add a few more dollops of crazy to her banana split-personality next week as she nurses her black eye (WTF???  Can’t WAIT).

 Out.

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2 thoughts on “BACHELOR BRAD – EPISODE 3

  1. You are a great writer…you should write a book…im thinking something ‘sex in the city esque’. Good work chikita!

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